Game Day Nibbles: Paleo Nachos

I know nothing about sports, despite growing up in not 1, but 2 households full of baseball watching, baseball listening to, baseball game visiting, and even softball playing sport people (my mother was also very into college basketball, but not until after I left for college and my cousin started attending Duke University). Also, I come from a big football state. And I spent an awful lot of my formative years in a college basketball obsessed state. Pig ball I know not. (I do however, enjoy the occasional baseball game – even though I only know the very basic rules. And hockey. No idea what’s happening, but I like the drama)

Needless to say, I couldn’t give two rats’ asses about the Superbowl. It happened last weekend, and all I remember about the game was Beyonce, some amount of complaining about a blackout, and that we were ostensibly rooting for the Ravens due to a: their proximity, and b: someone on the other team recently coming under fire for homophobic remarks.

But snacks, snacks I like; and any excuse to make “man snacks” is a-okay in my book. This year, I made a variation of one of my staples (sliders) and what has become a new favorite – paleo nachos. During the game, I managed to finish planning our spring vacation (go me!) and design a few cards for upcoming holidays.

The nacho recipe is below. Sliders to come soon.

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Paleo Nachos

1 lb. ground beef (grass fed)
2 tsp. coconut oil
4 Tbsp. chili powder
2 tsp. chipotle powder
2 Tbsp. granulated garlic powder
2 Tbsp. onion powder
2 tsp. sea salt
Black pepper
TJ Guacamole (recipe follows)
Salsa (optional)
2 scallions
Sweet potato chips (I used store bought because I failed at home made)

In a large pan, warm the coconut oil over medium – medium-high heat. Add the beef and break up with a spoon. Add the spices, salt & pepper and cook until deeply browned. Drain.

While this is cooking, make your guacamole and slice the scallions into thin medallions.

When the beef is browned and drained, assemble your nachos. 1st layer chips, 2nd layer beef, top with guacamole, scallions and salsa (if using). Enjoy.

Serves 4-6 easily. We took down a bag of chips and still had enough leftover meat and guac that we could both have another big plate.

TJ Guacamole

This guacamole is straight from Trader Joe’s guacamole kit. I originally added 3 strips of applewood smoked bacon to mine, but couldn’t taste it in the final product at all. If you want some porky goodness, try upping the quotient to 5 strips of bacon.

2 ripe avocados
1 Roma tomato, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
1 jalapeno, seeded and diced
1 tiny onion, diced
Juice of 1 lime
Big pinch salt

Mash all ingredients together with a potato masher (or fork, if you want a workout).

Lemon & Chive Flecked Broccoli Soup

This is a great little soup – chock full of vegetables with enough backbone to be satisfying on its own as a dinner bowl.

Vegetarian, gluten-free and paleo-ish. While Parmesan cheese is not paleo, if you buy good quality from grass-fed milk, a hand full + a rind in a big pot of soup is not going to kill you.

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Lemon & Chive Flecked Broccoli Soup

Adapted from Broccoli Soup with Lemon Chive Cream from Orangette

Soup:

1 big bunch broccoli
1 yellow onion
2 leeks
3 cloves garlic
1 Tbsp. unsalted butter
1 Tbsp. olive or coconut oil
5 c. Turkey stock (or chicken or vegetable – whatever light stock you have on hand)
1 Parmesan rind (about 2 inches square – omit if strict paleo or vegan)
Kosher salt to taste

Make the soup. Slice your leeks (white and green parts only) into thin discs and rinse to clean, making sure to separate the rings to get into all the places grit likes to hide. Halve and slice your onion thin.

In a heavy-bottomed stock pot or dutch oven, heat the butter and oil over medium heat. When the fat is warm, add the leeks and onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and translucent (about 10 minutes).

While that is working, dice the garlic and chop the broccoli (stems included).

When the onion is translucent and the leeks are nice and soft, add the garlic and cook a minute or two more (until you start to smell the garlic). Add the broccoli, stock, Parmesan rind and a big pinch of salt and stir. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and cook partially covered about 20 minutes or until the broccoli is tender.

While your soup is working, get your lemon and chive cream ready to go.

Cream:

The top layer of thick cream from 1 can of full-fat coconut milk that has been chilled + a little extra coconut milk for added body
2 scallions (white and pale green parts only)
Chives
1/2 a lemon
Grated Parmesan
Big pinch salt

Slice the scallions into thin rounds. Snip or mince chives until you have a big hand full. Zest and juice the lemon.

In a medium bowl, combine the coconut cream with the scallions, chives, lemon zest, lemon juice, and a big hand full of grated parmesan cheese. Add a big pinch of salt and taste. If it needs more, zap it again. You’re going for light, bright and acidic but not overly bracing. If you need a little more body or things are looking not creamy enough, add coconut milk a little at a time (tasting as you go) until it looks just right.

Back to the soup.

When your soup is done, remove the Parmesan rind and either whiz with an immersion blender or buzz in a regular blender until mostly smooth. I left a few chunks here and there for added interest but a velvety smooth soup would be just as nice. Don’t forget to remove the Parmesan rind, especially if you’re going the immersion blender route. I forgot, and while my Vitamix disappeared it just fine, Parmesan rind is still not good eats.

Top with the lemon & chive cream and serve. Serves 2 for dinner with 1-2 lunches.

Tangy Chipotle Slaw with Pecans

This slaw makes the best of winter with the sort of tangy, smoky, spicy kick usually reserved for brightening up a summer fete. I served this slaw piled on top of these paleo tortilla crepe things, with some leftover flank steak and seared broccoli stalks. Yum.

If you’re southern, you can be forgiven for wanting to toss a handful of golden raisins into the mix. Eating my bulked up version (I added the broccoli florets and pecans) for salad the next day, I could almost smell the warm grass and smoked pig.

Paleo (with aioli), gluten-free and vegetarian (ish – contains eggs – sub for vegan mayo if going that route).

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Tangy Chipotle Slaw with Pecans

2 carrots, shredded
1/2 head Savoy cabbage, ribboned
1 Fuji apple, julienned
2 crowns broccoli, separated into bite-sized florets
1 cap organic apple cider vinegar
1/4 c. pecans, chopped or halved
1/2 c. aioli (if you have to sub mayo, at least use one made with olive oil)
2 tsp. adobo sauce (the sauce in a can of chipotle)
6 tsp. lemon juice
2 tsp. organic apple cider vinegar
2 big pinches salt

Toss the first 5 ingredients together while you are making the dressing and toasting your nuts.

Whisk the dressing ingredients together in a medium bowl, thinning out with a splash of water if you need it.

Pour over the slaw and toss to combine. When the nuts are nice and toasted, throw them in as well.

Serves some to a bunch – If you’re eating this on top of a burger or taco, it goes a long way. Big lunch bowlfuls will get you 2.

Paleo Chili with Root Vegetables

Mmmmm…. chili. Is there another food that is as synonymous with colder months (perhaps pot roast)? Chili is one of those ridiculously easy to make dishes that is a great thing to always have in your back pocket in case life throws you a cold, rainy day. This version foregoes the beans in favor of more paleo-friendly parsnip and carrot chunks. Hearty, filling, and warming to the core; this dinner serves as a long-form weeknight dinner and perfect back of the fridge/freezer lurker.

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Paleo Chili with Root Vegetables

Adapted from Bison Chili from The Paleo Plan

1 1/4 lb. ground grass fed beef (or bison if you can find it)
1 Tbsp. coconut oil
1 medium yellow onion, diced
3 stalks celery, diced
2 parsnips, chopped
3 carrots, chopped
2 palms full ground cumin
4 palms full chili powder
1/2 palm dried oregano
2 palms full granulated garlic
2 (14.5 ounce) cans diced tomatoes – fire roasted or regular
1 (7 ounce) can green chiles
Sea salt to taste

Heat a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the coconut oil.

Add the onions and celery and sautee until the onions are translucent, about 4 minutes.

Add the beef and spices and sautee until browned.

Add the parsnips, carrots, tomatoes, chiles, 2 big pinches salt and 3/4 of a can of water and stir.

Bring up to a boil, reduce the heat, cover and let simmer an hour.

Taste and re-salt if needed.

Serves 2 for dinner + 2 for lunch

Breakfast of Champions: Green Smoothie

It seems like the whole (healthy eating) world has jumped on the smoothie bandwagon. Internet fisticuffs have broken out over the relative merits of blending vs. juicing. Crazy eyed evangelists for both warring factions spout suspicious claims from the rooftops. Pinterest orgy groups have formed.

So, what am I doing? Adding to the noise by posting a smoothie recipe. I can’t help it; this recipe is good. Like really good. And I can’t find any fault with the health content.

My DH and I got started on smoothies innocently enough: he’d been listening to Joe Rogan’s podcast (check it out if you haven’t – he’s not a douche like I had feared he would be; he actually has some really great guests and some interesting nutrition “experts”. Plus, he’s really kind of hilarious) and Rogan mentioned how much he really likes his morning green smoothie. And then he had nutritionists on talking about smoothies and although they might argue about how you get the juice in the glass, they couldn’t argue (much) about more vegetables being good for you. Some guests cautioned about fat soluble vs. water soluble vitamins, sugar content, and whether liquid veggies were better than veggies you chew; but the overall consensus was veggies = good and controlling where those veggies come from = even better.

Needless to say, we were intrigued (and visions of a crazy high-powered blender danced in my DH’s head). We started small – 1 blended smoothie from the health store down the road (which we split, because ack! $10!). Both of us absolutely loved it, so we did the (relatively) cost-conscious thing and started buying Naked Juice. But we felt bad about it because of the pasteurization and the sweet taste and we were pretty sure it was really bad for you. So we hemmed and we hawwed and we argued and we justified and finally we sprung for a refurbished Vitamix blender. And now that $7 a day smoothie habit costs around $5 and we are a month in to making back enough dough to break even on the monster that now sits in a place of honor in our kitchen.

My DH is the smoothie mix master in the family – he gets up first, and enjoys the mad scientist aspect of creating mixes. I don’t mind, it gets him to clean the kitchen more often. That, and he’s great at it. 🙂

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Big Green Breakfast Smoothie

Serves 2

1 apple
1 banana
4 stalks kale
1/2 c. fresh spinach
2 stalks celery
Small hand full cilantro
1 tsp. spirulina
1/2 c. orange juice (the healthiest 100% juice you can find)
1 c. coconut water (100% pure – if you can’t find a brand with no additives, use regular water)
1/2 avocado
1 inch ginger

Whiz everything up until smooth. This is a thick shake-like smoothie that fills you up until lunch.

Added bonus for metric nerds: Self Magazine’s site has a really good nutrition calculator. I ran this smoothie through it, and this is what came up for nutritional value:

289 calories, 56 from fat (7g total)
213mg sodium
59g carbohydrates (11g dietary fiber)
6g protein
131% Vitamin A
152% Vitamin C
13% Calcium
13% Iron

How awesome is that?

Full metrics with goodies like nutritional targets, fullness factor, glycemic load, inflammation factor, nutrient balance, protein quality, calories, carbs, vitamins, fats, minerals, sterols & other substance breakouts here. *nerd squee*

Ginger Curry Carrot Soup

This simple carrot soup comes together in no time at all and makes for a hearty, healthy weeknight meal. Paleo friendly, vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free.

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Ginger Curry Carrot Soup

Based on Simple Ginger Carrot Soup by Paleomg

1 1/2 lb. bag carrots, chopped
4 c. vegetable broth
1/4 c. coconut milk
1 yellow onion
3 inches ginger
3 cloves garlic
2 Tbsp. coconut oil
1 palm full curry
2 tsp. garam masala
Salt & white pepper to taste
Drizzle grapeseed or walnut oil (optional)
Toasted pecans for garnish (optional)

Halve and slice the onion thin, mince the garlic and peel & mince the ginger. Heat a large pot over medium and add the coconut oil. Add the onion, garlic & ginger and cook until the onions are translucent. You don’t want to burn them, so stir frequently as you are chopping the carrots into large-ish chunks and gathering your other ingredients. I let my onions go until they were just beginning to brown at the edges, and they were terrific.

When your aromatics are where you want them and the carrots are ready, add carrots along with stock and coconut milk. Stir and add the curry and garam masala with some salt and white pepper. Simmer 20 minutes or until the carrots are soft.

Once the carrots are soft, blend with an immersion blender until smooth. Alternately, you can use a food processor or blender.

Return to the pot and taste for seasoning. Add more if needed. Simmer an additional 10 minutes or until your desired thickness is reached.

Drizzle with a little oil and top with toasted pecans if desired.

Serves 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch.

Sundried Tomato Basil Meatballs with Walnut Pesto and Broccolini

This is a great little weeknight dinner and this pesto is something you will want to have on hand. It’s great here, as well as on chicken or beef, or when used as a mix-in for all sorts of “basic” ingredients to give a little kick. Paleo friendly and gluten-free.

A note on coconut cream: Coconut cream is easy to source. Take a can of full fat coconut milk, place into a container with a lid and chill a few hours or over night. A thick layer of cream will rise to the top and solidify. This is coconut cream and it is tasty.

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Sundried Tomato Basil Meatballs with Walnut Pesto and Broccolini

Based on Sun Dired Tomato Meatballs with Creamy Pesto from Everyday Paleo

For the meatballs:

2 lbs. ground beef (or a mixture of beef, veal and pork depending on your particular culinary inclinations)
4 scallions
1 big hand full basil
1/2 c. sun dried tomatoes
3 cloves garlic
Big pinch salt
Black pepper
1 Tbsp. coconut oil

For the broccolini:

1 bunch broccolini
Olive oil
Salt & pepper

For the pesto:

1 c. walnuts
1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil
3 cloves garlic
2 c. basil
1/4 c. sun dried tomatoes
1/2 c. coconut cream
Big pinch salt
Big pinch red pepper flakes
2 tsp. white wine vinegar

Preheat the oven to 375. While you are waiting for the oven to heat, prep your broccolini by chopping the cut ends off, placing the stalks on a cookie sheet, and drizzling with olive oil. Sprinkle with salt & pepper. When your oven comes up to temperature, add the broccolini and set the timer for 15 minutes.

Bring a cup or two of water to a boil. Place the sundried tomatoes in a medium bowl and cover with boiling water. Cover with a dish towel or plastic wrap and let reconstitute 15 minutes. If you are using oil packed tomatoes, skip this step.

While your tomatoes are reconstituting, mince the scallions, garlic and basil for the meatballs.

When your tomatoes are reconstituted, remove from the water and mince. Add the meatball portion to a large bowl along with the other meatball ingredients (minus the coconut oil).

Mix the meatball ingredients together and form into ping pong ball sized meatballs.

Heat the coconut oil over medium to medium-high heat in a large ovenproof skillet. Once the oil is hot, add the meatballs and brown on all sides.

When your broccolini timer goes off, flip the broccolini and return to the oven and cook an additional few minutes until browned but not burnt.

When the meatballs are all browned, slide the pan (if it is ovenproof, otherwise use a cookie sheet) into the oven and bake an additional 7-10 minutes.

While the meatballs are working, make the pesto. Add all ingredients to the bowl of a food processor and whiz until smooth and pesto like. Taste and add more salt/vinegar/pepper as needed until your desired taste balance is reached. You’re looking for a bright and lively pesto – something you want to eat more of before dinner. If it is too thick, thin with a bit of the tomato water if you have any on hand, or regular water. Don’t forget to adjust your seasoning after thinning. I went for a thick sauce – more of a paste – and it was delicious.

To serve, pile meatballs on top of broccolini and top with pesto. And more pesto.

Serves 2-4 for dinner (meatballs and pesto – if you’re serving 4, double the broccolini quantity) or 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch with more pesto left over.

Gluten-free Butternut Squash Gnocchi with Chard and Brown Butter Sauce

Yay, gluten-free and paleo friendly gnocchi! I was so excited to find this recipe using almond flour on the interwebs, and it does not disappoint. This is a hearty, filling, and satisfying meal and comes together in just enough time for a (late) weeknight meal. And, as an added bonus, it’s chock full of vegetable goodness.

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Gluten-free Butternut Squash Gnocchi with Chard and Brown Butter Sauce

Based on Baked Rosemary, Almond Flour & Butternut Squash Gnocchi by The Urban Poser

Small butternut squash
3 c. finely ground almond flour (I used Bob’s Red Mill)
1 egg yolk
Big pinch salt
1 Tbsp. fresh rosemary
1 Tbsp. fresh basil
2-4 cloves garlic
1 bunch chard
2 Tbsp. unsalted butter
1 Tbsp. olive oil

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Halve the squash and scoop out the seeds. Rub with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place cut side up on a cookie sheet and roast 45 minutes or until softened. When the squash has been working for 10 minutes or so, toss in 3 cloves garlic still in their paper.

Scoop out about 1/2 to 3/4 c. squash and add to a large bowl with the almond flour, egg yolk, salt, herbs and roasted garlic.

Work ingredients until they are well mixed together and form into a ball. Your dough will be a bit sticky, but it should hold together well. If it is too wet, add a little more flour. If too dry, add a little more squash. Coat your ball of dough with olive oil and chill about half an hour.

While your dough is chilling, make the chard. Wash chard and cut into ribbons. Add the olive oil to a large skillet over medium heat. Add the chard, and sautee until it is wilted down. Kick the heat up to medium high and add the butter. Sautee until the butter starts to brown. Salt & pepper to taste and remove from the heat.

When your dough is chilled, preheat the oven to 350. Take pinches of dough and form into grape-sized balls. Place dough grapes onto a cookie sheet, and lightly press with a fork while holding the sides so you have a gnocchi shape. I got about 45 gnocchi out of the batch. Brush the tops of the gnocchi with olive oil and sprinkle with coarse salt. Bake 8-10 minutes.

Bring your chard back up to temperature and toss with the gnocchi when it gets out of the oven.

Serves 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch.

Spicy Ginger Garlic Chicken Stir Fry with Cauliflower Rice

This dish is tasty. Like deeply tasty, with layers of flavors, which is good ‘cuz it isn’t quick. It is however, fully satisfying and filled with stealth veggie goodness. Paleo & gluten-free.

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Spicy Ginger Garlic Chicken Stir Fry with Cauliflower Rice

Adapted from Mark’s Daily Apple’s Sesame Chicken and “Rice” with Fiery Ginger and Chile Sauce 

For the chicken:

Boneless, skinless chicken thighs (about 2 per serving)
2 cloves garlic
4 slices ginger
4 scallions
2 Tbsp. dark sesame oil
1 Tbsp. shallot
Salt & white pepper to taste

For the rice:

1 head cauliflower
2 Tbsp. coconut oil
5 shallots
5 cloves garlic
3 c. chicken stock
Salt & white pepper to taste

For the chili sauce: 

2 Tbsp. sambal olek
3 Tbsp. ginger
3 Tbsp. shallot
3 cloves garlic
3 limes
1 tsp. apple cider vinegar
1/2 c. chicken stock
Salt & white pepper to taste

Garnish:

1/2 cucumber
Big hand full parsley
Sesame oil

First, let’s prep the massive amount of shallots and garlic you’ll need. You will need roughly 7 shallots in total, all minced. Mince those babies up, dividing into 3 separate bowls (one for each component of the dish). Mince and divide a total of 2-3 inches fresh ginger and 10 cloves garlic. Divide these as well by component.

Once all this mise is done, split your scallions in half and slice into small moons. Juice your limes. Dice your cucumber. Chop your parsley. Gather the rest of your ingredients and break your cauliflower down for easy adding to your food processor.

Let’s start with the “rice”, since this takes the longest to cook. Add your broken down cauliflower to your food processor a little at a time and process until it looks like crumbly rice. This may take a few batches.

Add the coconut oil to a wok or large pan over high heat. Add the shallot and garlic (from your separated cauliflower rice bowl of mise) and stir-fry until beginning to brown and fragrant. Add the cauliflower and stir fry about 4 minutes or until beginning to soften. Add 3c. chicken stock and cook 15-20 minutes or until the liquid has evaporated. Salt & white pepper to taste and set aside if the rest of the meal isn’t done yet.

While the “rice” is going, make your chicken. Cut the thighs into 1 inch cubes. Heat 2 Tbsp. dark sesame oil in a large pan over high heat. Add the ginger slices, chicken portion of shallot & garlic and chicken cubes and stir-fry until cooked through and beginning to brown. Add your scallions and stir-fry 2 minutes more. Season with salt & white pepper.

On to the sauce. Add the sambal olek, chili sauce portion ginger, shallot & garlic, lime juice, and apple cider vinegar to the bowl of a food processor. Process, scraping down the sides of the bowl if necessary, until a paste is formed. Add the chicken stock and whiz again to combine. Season with salt to taste.

When all your components are done, add the “rice” & chicken to a large bowl and toss to combine. Top with the cucumber and parsley and toss again. Add half of the sauce and taste. Add more if needed. To serve, place in bowls and drizzle with a little sesame oil to finish.

Serves 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch with a little extra sauce.

Spaghetti Squash & Bacon Hash Browns with Eggs and Pepita Chile Sauce

This is one of those meals that just tumbled together from different bits and bobs + my sometimes-mantra ‘put an egg on it’. I took a souped-up version of the paleo hash browns from one source, added some leftover spicy/nutty sauce, slapped on an egg (or two), and called it dinner. This meal hits the notes for protein, vegetables, freshness, gooeyness, and heat. It’s a winner.

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Spaghetti Squash & Bacon Hash Browns with Eggs and Pepita Chile Sauce

Adapted from Paleo Hash Browns by Health-Bent and Chile Pesto from Tasting Table

For the hash browns

1 spaghetti squash
1 yellow onion
2 Tbsp. rosemary
4 slices thick cut bacon
2 tsp. garlic powder
2 tsp. chili powder
Salt & pepper to taste

For the pepita chile sauce

5 dried mixed chiles (I used 2 black chiles, and 1 long chile of indeterminate origin – the recipe called for guajillo)
3 dried ancho chiles
1 1/2 c. boiling water
1/4 c. extra virgin olive oil
1/2 c. pepitas
2 limes
1/4 c. cilantro
Big pinch red pepper flakes
3 cloves garlic
Big pinch salt
Big pinch pepper

Fat of choice for frying and eggs
2 eggs per person

Preheat the oven to 450. While your oven is heating, split the squash in half longwise and scoop out the seeds. Rub with olive oil, sprinkle with salt & pepper, and place cut sides down on a cookie sheet.

Dice the onion and chop the rosemary.

When the oven is hot, put your squash in and roast 20 mins. Flip the squash over and cook an additional 15 minutes. You will know the squash is done when you can run a fork across the flesh and it shreds into threads. Set aside to cool.

While the squash is working, dice and fry the bacon over medium heat, setting aside on paper towels to drain when browned. Drain all but a Tablespoon of fat and sautée the onions until softened and just beginning to turn golden. Add the rosemary and salt & pepper. Remove to a large bowl, and add the bacon.

Now make the sauce. Bring the water to a boil. While you’re waiting, de-stem and seed the chiles and place in a large bowl. Pour the boiling water over top, cover with plastic wrap, and let sit 15 minutes.

While that is going, toast the pepitas a in a dry pan until just beginning to brown. Add to the bowl of a food processor or blender. Chop the garlic and cilantro and add to the pepitas. Add the olive oil, the juice of both limes, and the red pepper flakes. Whiz until a paste is formed, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.

When the chiles are done, pick out of the water and add to the paste. Whiz until combined. Add 1/2 c. of the chile liquid and whiz to combine. Add the salt and pepper. Taste and adjust seasoning as needed. If your sauce is too thick, thin with a bit more chile water – you’re looking for a hearty sauce; more like a loose-ish paste than a spready sauce.

Back to the hash browns.

Your squash should now be cool enough to handle. When it is, shred with a fork into the bowl containing the onions & bacon. Mix everything together, salt and pepper if needed, and add the garlic and chili powder.

Form the spaghetti squash mixture into small patties (you should be able to get about 9) and fry over medium-high heat in a few Tablespoons fat of choice until beginning to brown on each side.

As that is working, fry eggs to your desired doneness in your favorite egg frying fat.

Serve hash brown patties topped with a smear of sauce and eggs, 3 per person + 2 eggs.

Serves 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch, with plenty of leftover sauce.