Whole30 – Page 21 – Gastography

Spicy Crab Cakes with Sriracha Aioli & Pineapple Kiwi Salsa (paleo, Whole30)

August 24, 2013December 29, 2014Life, Recipes2 Comments

This not your momma’s polite little garden party crab cake. This crab cakes sits legs splayed in a skirt, puts its cigarette out in your sweet tea, and gives you a snarl.

A note here on making aioli. For the love of all things holy, follow the instructions. Your instructions using a whisk? Break that bad boy out. Found instructions for a Vitamix? Use that. I am aioli-retarded and can’t seem to make it – ever – to save my life. Why? Because I don’t listen. I started out this meal’s mayo sojurn with an immersion blender using a recipe written for a whisk-using over-achiever – and made a runny, kinda broken mess. I then Googled ways to fix the mess – and ended up wasting another 2 eggs in the process. I threw the whole batch out, grabbed my Vitamix, Googled Vitamix-specific instructions, and went to town. I waited until the noise of the aioli whipping around the blender changed – until it sounded like slaps instead of whirring madness – and I still thought I’d screwed something up – until I let the mayo sit and it firmed up on its own. So, take it from me: calm the crap down. Calm down and follow directions and your aioli will turn out just fine. No need to use half a bottle of grapeseed oil & over half a dozen eggs in the process.

Spicy Crab Cakes with Sriracha Aioli & Pineapple Kiwi Salsa (paleo, Whole30)

8 ounces crab (lump or claw, canned is perfect here)
2 tsp. brown mustard (I use Gulden’s spicy)
1/4 c. paleo aioli
2 Tbsp. coconut flour
1.5 tsp. chipotle powder
1 scallion
1 tsp. sea salt
1/4 tsp. white pepper

Drain the crab and pick through for errant shells. Drop into a large bowl. Slice the scallions thinly and add to the bowl. Add the rest of the ingredients and stir to combine.

Form into patties and place on a parchment-lined plate. Chill 30 minutes to let firm up a bit.

While your patties are chilling, make the salsa.

1 kiwi
1/4 pineapple
1 shallot
2 Tbsp. cilantro
1/2 jalapeno, seeded

Scoop the kiwi out of its fuzzy jacket and chop finely. Chop the pineapple finely. Dice the shallot. Chop the cilantro. Dice the jalapeno. Combine all in a small bowl and store in the fridge until dinner is ready – you want this to sit about half an hour, so the flavors have a chance to mingle.

While everything else is chilling, take about a 1/4 of a cup aioli and add a teaspoon or two of Whole30 sriracha to make your sauce. Set aside in a small dish.

When it’s time to cook the patties, heat 1-2 Tbsp. coconut oil over medium heat. Add the patties and cook about 4 minutes per side, or until nicely browned.

Serve topped with the salsa and aioli.

Serves 2 for dinner.

Whole30 – Day 23

August 23, 2013December 30, 2014Life, Whole30Leave a Comment

Tonight’s dinner could have been a disaster, but by deciding I wasn’t going to let it be, it wasn’t.

Breakfast

My favorite green smoothie, minus the banana.

Lunch

Chicken breast with nectarine, heirloom tomatoes and scallion. Tasty.

Snack

1 ounce sea salt almonds.

Dinner

Went out for BBQ, and the only thing on the menu that was Whole30 compliant is the coriander pork shoulder. So, half a pound of pork it was. And it was good.

Staying Up Way Too Late Watching Torchwood Snack

1 cup cherries, 1/2 cup pineapple.

Whole30 – Day 22

August 22, 2013December 30, 2014Life, Whole30Leave a Comment

Mmmmmmm……. beeeffff.

Breakfast

My favorite green smoothie, minus the banana.

Lunch

Leftover lamb samosa filling and green beans from Tuesday’s dinner. Still delicious.

3 PM Slump Snack

1 ounce sea salt almonds.

Dinner

Slow Cooked Mexican Beef from Nom Nom Paleo with sautéed broccolini and cauliflower “tortillas”. So much yum.

Whole30 – Day 21

August 22, 2013December 30, 2014Life, Whole30Leave a Comment

Another successful, easy day.

Breakfast

My favorite green smoothie, minus the banana.

Lunch

4 ounces leftover roast pork from Whole Foods with 1/2 cup eggplant (1.5 c. raw) sauteed in a Tablespoon or two coconut oil – finished off with a squeeze fresh lemon juice and a good helping of salt. Good, but a little oil-logged and not quite as crispy as I had envisioned. More lemon would have helped.

Dinner

Grass fed top round (which is a bit tough when eaten like a steak), half a container of heirloom tomatoes sprinkled with salt & Japanese 7-spice, and a sautéed orange bell pepper. Satisfying, albeit a touch chewy. But those tomatoes … those tomatoes were the proverbial bomb.

Caramelized Peach, Chicken & Tomato Salad with Sriracha Lime Vinaigrette (paleo, Whole30)

August 17, 2013December 29, 2014Life, RecipesLeave a Comment

Yum. Yuuuuummmmmmmm. Y-U-M. This salad is frickin delicious. On a random Tuesday, I was craving grilled peaches but was too lazy to bust out the grill for a quick lunch, so tossed some peaches along with some cheater roasted chicken from Trader Joe’s and this dish was born. Peaches + heat is a match made in heaven. Why have I been eating them straight all these years?! (oh yeah, because peach juice running down your chin is one of summer’s great touchstones)

Caramelized Peach, Chicken & Tomato Salad with Sriracha Lime Vinaigrette (paleo, Whole30)

1 breast roasted chicken (or about a fourth of a package pre-roasted olive oil & black pepper sliced roasted chicken from Trader Joe’s)
1 peach
1 tsp. fat of choice (I’ve used both pork fat and coconut oil, and I must say the pork fat was a touch better here. big shocker)
1 c. (or about a third of a pint) grape or cherry tomatoes
A hand full dry toasted pecans
1 scallion
A few leaves fresh mint
A few leaves fresh basil
Juice of half a lime
1 Tbsp. grapeseed oil
2 tsp. Whole30 sriracha (aka: food of the gods)
Big fat finishing salt

Cut your peaches and chicken into bite-sized pieces while you’re waiting for a medium pan over medium high to reach temperature. Add a teaspoon fat of choice to the pan and follow with the peaches. Sautee, stirring a minute or two and add the chicken. Continue cooking, stirring every minute or two to prevent too much burning until the peaches are caramelized and everything smells heavenly.

While your peaches + chicken are doing their thing, slice the scallions and herbs thin and add to a large bowl with the pecans. Slice the tomatoes in half and add to the bowl.

In a separate small bowl, whisk together the sriracha, grapeseed oil and lime juice.

When the chicken & peaches are done, add to the large bowl. Toss with the dressing and finish with a sprinkle of big fat salt.

Serves 1 for lunch – there may be growling.

Sweet Potato & Zucchini Hash with Pork (paleo, Whole30)

August 10, 2013December 29, 2014Life, RecipesLeave a Comment

I had a craving. Well, two cravings. I wanted my old best friend comfort food – eggs and hashed browns – and a new friend – Thai laarb (a spicy, deeply flavored crispy pork dish). This version of the standby hash is kicked-up in the nutrition department, features bunches of crumbly crispy pork, and uses up everyone’s favorite summer ~~menace~~ staple, zucchini.

Sweet Potato & Zucchini Hash with Pork (paleo, Whole30)

1 pound ground pork
2 tsp. coconut oil
2 tsp. sea salt + more to taste
2 Tbsp. chili powder
1 Tbsp. ground cumin
1 Tbsp. granulated garlic
1 Tbsp. onion powder
2 tsp. ground chipotle
1 large sweet potato
1 medium zucchini
1 small onion
2 eggs per person
fat of choice for the eggs
Whole30 approved sriracha
Black pepper

Heat the coconut oil over medium high and add the pork. Break up with a spoon into the smallest pieces possible and add the spices and salt, stirring after each addition. Sautee until deeply browned and crispy and remove to a bowl (reserving the fat).

While the pork is cooking, grate the sweet potatoes, zucchini and onion. Add to the pan with the reserved pork fat when the pork is resting comfortably. Cook, stirring occasionally, until everything is soft and the sweet potato is beginning to brown in spots. Salt and pepper to taste.

In a separate pan, fry the eggs in a fat of your choice until your desired doneness is reached. Salt and pepper to taste.

Serve topped with sriracha (I used 2 tsp. per serving)

Serves 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch (with 5-6 eggs)

Whole30 Challenge Or, This Crazybananas Thing I’m Doing

August 1, 2013December 30, 2014Life, Whole30Leave a Comment

I’ve decided to monkey with my food habits again. Apparently, I’m some sort of food masochist because I’ve agreed to partake in a Whole30 Challenge with one of my best friends: the lovely and talented mind behind Emery’s Attic and the not-updated-nearly-enough *insert side eye here* OneWomanManyHats (to be fair, she has updated twice in the last month). She’s a warrior, a mother, one crafty b*tch, and has been my go-to for food-related questions/discovery/commiseration since we were teens. In short, she rocks. Let’s see if I still like her after this sojourn into depravation during peak corn-on-the-cob/beer/ice cream season. I know she’s giving me ‘mom eye’ right now, so I’ll quit whining. For now. (but I want wine)

During this month of crazybananas, I’ll be updating the blog more frequently with snaps of, and mini-recipes for, the things I’m eating (for my Nerd Fitness guild/challenge mates, I’ll be posting metrics on my thread as well to help those of you still on the Whole30 fence to hop down and join the fun).

What Is Whole30?

Whole30 is a month-long hard reset for the body. Kind of like paleo on steriods. No sugar (even honey or stevia), grains, dairy or legumes. Just whole, natural foods – like meats, veggies and fruits. Nothing in a package. No soy (mental note: find coconut aminos; Braggs isn’t going to cut it this month). Amend fish sauce buying to conform.

This program is designed to break the back of sugar and carb cravings and give your body a balanced place from which to build healthy habits. It seeks to reset your metabolism, knock out systemic inflammation (that you may not even know you have) and zero out other gut health issues. Have random stomach pain like me? This may help balance that. Irregular? IBS? Feel like crap all the time? Can’t lose weight? Well .. this crazybananas plan might work.

My favorite part of the plan, aside from the reset, is the tough love. This is not hard – not like quitting heroin or beating cancer. Don’t even think about slipping – what you put into your mouth is always a choice. You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to eat – learn to stick up for yourself, peer pressure is for elementary school students. This will take effort but you will be better for it – especially if you’re a first-timer to cutting out grains and legumes. But … you can do this.

You know what? They’re right. In the grand scheme of things, 30 days is a small amount of time to deal with a little inconvenience. Unless there are roving bands of rapist donuts in your neighborhood; then maybe stay inside and eat what you’re supposed to anyways.

‘Undressed’ Poppyseed & Orange Chicken Salad with Green Beans

April 13, 2013December 29, 2014Life, RecipesLeave a Comment

Perfect for a picnic or any sunny day, this chicken salad leaves the mayo behind.

Gluten-free; easily made paleo if you switch the green beans out for something like crispy cauliflower nuggets or broccolini.

‘Undressed’ Poppyseed & Orange Chicken Salad with Green Beans

2 chicken breasts
1/2 c. celery
1/2 c. pecans
1/4 c. chives
12 oz. haricots verts
Juice of 1 orange
2 tsp. dijon (grainy to be whole30 compliant)
2 tsp. poppy seeds
1/4 c. grapeseed oil
2 big pinches grey salt
Other citrus juice (optional)
3 Tbsp. coconut oil

Chop the chicken into roughly 1 inch cubes. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Heat 2 Tbsp. coconut oil in a large pan over medium-high heat. Add the chicken and sautee until golden brown and delicious looking.

Pull out your haricots verts, and chop into roughly bite-sized pieces.

In a separate pan, heat 1 Tbsp. coconut oil until melted. Add the haricots verts and cook until blistered and wilted.

While all that is working, slice the celery into thin half moons, toast the pecans in a dry pan until starting to brown and become fragrant, and chop or snip the chives. Add each new prepped ingredient to a large bowl as it is ready.

In a separate smaller bowl, make the vinaigrette. Whisk the orange juice, dijon, poppy seeds and grapeseed oil together until an emulsion forms. Taste. Add a big pinch of grey salt and taste again. If the flavors aren’t already sparkling, add another big pinch of salt. If your orange is still kind of dull tasting, hit it with a squirt or two of other citrus juice until the flavors sing.

When the chicken and/or green beans are done, add to the large bowl and toss to combine. Add half of the vinaigrette and toss. I was fine with the dressing level here; if you need to, add the rest.

Serves 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch.

Fresh Snap Pea and Radish Salad with Sprouts

April 6, 2013October 18, 2013Life, Recipes2 Comments

This is a fabulous little fresh spring salad – full of bright crunch from the snap peas, balanced with nice bite from the radish and kicked up a notch by the addition of some nice flaky salt. A fresh, bright side for something decadent – like the lamb chops I served it with.

Fresh Snap Pea and Radish Salad with Sprouts

Snap peas (about 4 cups ?)
4 large radishes – I used plain old regular red radishes
1/4 cup sprouts – I used broccoli sprouts, though I bet the hot variety would be nice as well
3 Tbsp. almond oil
1 Tbsp. dijon mustard
1 Tbsp. rice vinegar
2 big pinches flaky grey salt
Black pepper (a dusting)

De-tip your snap peas and cut into rough fork-sized chunks.

Slice the radishes thin, stack the rounds up, and cut into match sticks.

Add both to a medium bowl with the sprouts.

Whisk together the oil, mustard and vinegar in a small bowl. Add the salt and taste – add some more if the tastes don’t pop.

Pour the dressing over the salad and work in, using your hands to toss and separate the sprout threads.

Dust with black pepper and serve.

Serves 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch as a side dish.

Sundried Tomato Basil Meatballs with Walnut Pesto and Broccolini

December 31, 2012October 11, 2013Life, Recipes1 Comment

This is a great little weeknight dinner and this pesto is something you will want to have on hand. It’s great here, as well as on chicken or beef, or when used as a mix-in for all sorts of “basic” ingredients to give a little kick. Paleo friendly and gluten-free.

A note on coconut cream: Coconut cream is easy to source. Take a can of full fat coconut milk, place into a container with a lid and chill a few hours or over night. A thick layer of cream will rise to the top and solidify. This is coconut cream and it is tasty.

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Sundried Tomato Basil Meatballs with Walnut Pesto and Broccolini

Based on Sun Dired Tomato Meatballs with Creamy Pesto from Everyday Paleo

For the meatballs:

2 lbs. ground beef (or a mixture of beef, veal and pork depending on your particular culinary inclinations)
4 scallions
1 big hand full basil
1/2 c. sun dried tomatoes
3 cloves garlic
Big pinch salt
Black pepper
1 Tbsp. coconut oil

For the broccolini:

1 bunch broccolini
Olive oil
Salt & pepper

For the pesto:

1 c. walnuts
1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil
3 cloves garlic
2 c. basil
1/4 c. sun dried tomatoes
1/2 c. coconut cream
Big pinch salt
Big pinch red pepper flakes
2 tsp. white wine vinegar

Preheat the oven to 375. While you are waiting for the oven to heat, prep your broccolini by chopping the cut ends off, placing the stalks on a cookie sheet, and drizzling with olive oil. Sprinkle with salt & pepper. When your oven comes up to temperature, add the broccolini and set the timer for 15 minutes.

Bring a cup or two of water to a boil. Place the sundried tomatoes in a medium bowl and cover with boiling water. Cover with a dish towel or plastic wrap and let reconstitute 15 minutes. If you are using oil packed tomatoes, skip this step.

While your tomatoes are reconstituting, mince the scallions, garlic and basil for the meatballs.

When your tomatoes are reconstituted, remove from the water and mince. Add the meatball portion to a large bowl along with the other meatball ingredients (minus the coconut oil).

Mix the meatball ingredients together and form into ping pong ball sized meatballs.

Heat the coconut oil over medium to medium-high heat in a large ovenproof skillet. Once the oil is hot, add the meatballs and brown on all sides.

When your broccolini timer goes off, flip the broccolini and return to the oven and cook an additional few minutes until browned but not burnt.

When the meatballs are all browned, slide the pan (if it is ovenproof, otherwise use a cookie sheet) into the oven and bake an additional 7-10 minutes.

While the meatballs are working, make the pesto. Add all ingredients to the bowl of a food processor and whiz until smooth and pesto like. Taste and add more salt/vinegar/pepper as needed until your desired taste balance is reached. You’re looking for a bright and lively pesto – something you want to eat more of before dinner. If it is too thick, thin with a bit of the tomato water if you have any on hand, or regular water. Don’t forget to adjust your seasoning after thinning. I went for a thick sauce – more of a paste – and it was delicious.

To serve, pile meatballs on top of broccolini and top with pesto. And more pesto.

Serves 2-4 for dinner (meatballs and pesto – if you’re serving 4, double the broccolini quantity) or 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch with more pesto left over.

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