Blistered Grape and Bacon Salad

This week, I planned poorly for lunch and had pretty much nothing for Monday. So, I played the home version of Chopped and ended up coming up with something pretty darn tasty.

Gluten-free, paleo

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Blistered Grape and Bacon Salad

2 ounces double smoked bacon (my favorite is Schaler & Weber)
Fresh fennel
6 green seedless grapes
Savoy or other green cabbage

Cut your bacon into batons.

In a large pan over medium heat, brown your bacon. While that is working, shred the cabbage, slice the fennel wafer thin, and halve the grapes.

When the bacon is about halfway done, add the grapes and fennel and sauté until the fennel is slumpy and the grapes start to blister.

Add the cabbage and sauté, stirring frequently, until softened. Hit with a big pinch salt and a few cracks black pepper while cooking.

Drizzle with a little aged balsamic and serve.

Serves 1 for lunch

 

Primal Chicken Carbonara

Mmmmmmmm….. carbonara. How I have missed thee.

Carbonara was the very first dish I learned to make – the one dish, according to my mother, that one should always have in her back pocket to be broken out at a moment’s notice. 

Short notice dinner guests and no time to make some sort of roast beast? Carbonara. Need a quick (but better than pizza and beer) way to say ‘thank you’ to the house full of dudes that just helped you move? Carbonara. Want to impress a boy? Carbonara. The in-laws? Carbonara. 

Needless to say, this dish was an absolute favorite growing up and made appearances at my house often.

“My” version has changed over the years – first with fresh ingredients (no more shakey parmesan for me!), then to include veggies (peas, asparagus and spinach are all fantastic), then fresh pasta (to die for), and now a primal version. Not full paleo – I still love a touch of a nice salty cheese (sheep in my case) – but close. 

If you’re squicked out by the raw egg, I’ll tell you what my mother told me over arched eyebrow when I first heard that IwoulddieifIateraweggsandtheworldwouldexplode: You’ll be fine. Rocky didn’t die when he ate all those raw eggs, now did he? You’re much less likely to expire from salmonella than getting hit by a bus.

 

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Gluten-free, primal, paleo-ish 

Primal Chicken Carbonara 

1 spaghetti squash 
4 pieces bacon 
1 lb. boneless skinless chicken thighs 
3 cloves garlic 
1/4 c. flat Italian parsley 
2 Tbsp. pecorino, romano or parmesan (I used sheep) 
1 egg 
Green olives (pimento stuffed is best) 

First, prep and cook your squash to make “noodles”. To prepare, lop off the ends of the squash so it can rest stably on a cutting board. Cut in half lengthwise and scoop out the seed guts. 

Place cut side down in a shallow dish or bowl, add a few Tablespoons of water, cover, and microwave on High for 14 minutes or until soft. Pull from the microwave and let cool. 

Next, crisp your bacon in your largest skillet over medium heat. 

Cut your chicken into bite-sized pieces and chop the garlic. 

When crisp, remove the bacon to paper towels to drain. 

Add the chicken and garlic to the bacon fat in the pan and hit with a big pinch Kosher salt and couple grinds black pepper. Sauté until cooked through. 

While the chicken is working, halve your olives (the quantity varies – I love olives and will happily eat half a cup in mine; my husband doesn’t like them at all and wants nothing to do with them), chop the parsley, and scrape the spaghetti squash out with a fork to form noodles. 

Lightly beat your egg.

When the chicken is cooked through, add the spaghetti squash “noodles” to the pan along with the parsley, cheese, and crumbled bacon. Toss to combine. 

If everyone in your party loves olives, add them; if not, add them to the individual bowls.
 

Remove from the heat and make a well in the middle of the noodles. Add the beaten egg and toss quickly to coat everything – make sure to work quickly to combine and that your pan is off the heat, you don’t want scrambled eggs.

Divvy up and serve. 

Serves 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch

Bacon and Egg Stuffed Paleo Pancakes

This majesty started with an Instagram shot posted by my brother in law.

 

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This bananas stack of fabulosity was had at SuperChef’s Breakfast and More, a superhero-themed restaurant in Columbus, Ohio. 

To say this photo made me jealous is an understatement. I’ve been inexplicably craving pancakes for weeks (I don’t even *like* pancakes generally – sugar is not really my thing), and then this shot came into my life – pancakes where I can replace the syrup with egg yolk. Why didn’t I think of this sooner? 

In a shower of blessed cosmic benevolence, Lexi’s Clean Kitchen also happened to post a really good looking fluffy paleo pancake recipe around the same time. 

Call this spectacular convergence divine intervention, synchronicity, or something else entirely – I call it a damn good dinner. 

 And let me just say these pancakes aren’t just ‘as good’ as “regular” pancakes — they’re better. My pancake loving hubby inhaled his (his only complaint was that I used only 1 tsp. maple syrup for the drizzle). I had no idea pancakes could be this satisfying.

 

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Gluten-free, paleo 

Bacon and Egg Stuffed Paleo Pancakes 

6 eggs 
4-8 slices bacon 
Grass fed butter 
Drizzle maple syrup or honey 
1 Granny Smith apple, peeled 
1/2 cup almond flour 
1/2 cup tapioca flour 
1 tsp. baking powder 
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract 
Kosher salt & black pepper 

First, make some quick applesauce. If you happen to have unsweetened applesauce on hand, cool, use that – I did not. 

Peel and chop your apple. Place in a bowl with 1 Tbsp. water, cover, and microwave on high 4-7 minutes, or until very tender. 

Remove from the bowl and puree until smooth (I used a stick blender).  Let cool a bit before assembling your pancakes. 

When the apples are coolish, blend 1/4 cup of the applesauce with the almond flour, tapioca flour, 2 eggs, baking powder, vanilla, and a pinch of salt. Whisk to break up any clumps. 

Heat 1-2 Tbsp. butter in a large skillet over medium – medium-high heat. Add batter by big spoonfuls (small pancake size) and let cook 3-4 minutes until the batter bubbles (just like with regular pancakes). Flip. Cook an additional 3-4 minutes. Continue on. My batch made seven 3-4 inch pancakes. 

When the pancakes are done, crisp the bacon and fry the eggs. 

To serve, make stacks: pancake, egg, bacon, pancake, egg, bacon, pancake, bacon & drizzle with maple syrup. 

Serves 2 for dinner

Bacon-Wrapped Butternut Squash

I, dear friends, have been saddled with a squash nonbeliever.

I did it to myself, really. I *knew* my DH harbored this character flaw way back when he was only ‘the boyfriend’, and chose to ignore it – to deal with this injustice later; to blindly turn my eye to the potential battleground that would become dinner and forge ahead.

This squash distainer sits at my dinner table (who am I kidding? the couch) every night during the fall, hoping whatever huge wintery monstrosity made my eyes shiny at the grocery store/farmers’ market the weekend before is not making an appearance on his plate. And then it does, and the poor guy does what he can with it. Funky textures, sweetly savory tastes and all.

This dish is an olive branch of sorts – a peace offering for the many, many hashes and roasted lumps of undesirables I make my longsuffering DH consume each year when the mercury dips below 50. For the broken promises of crispiness; the bait-and-switches that come when silky purees don’t have the expected flavor profile.

Who doesn’t love bacon? And if you have to eat squash to get it, maybe that bacon fat-basted root veggie won’t be so bad.

Gluten-free, paleo, Whole30 if you luck up and can get compliant bacon

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Bacon-Wrapped Butternut Squash

1/2 a large butternut squash
6 slices bacon
Salt
Pepper
Chili powder

Preheat your oven to 400 F and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

Now attack your squash. Peel with a vegetable peeler, lop off the ends and cut into half width-wise (you should have two big hunks of squash – 1 with seeds and 1 without). Cut your seedless half into half again and then into large fry looking wedges.

Reserve the other half for another purpose (a nice hash, perhaps).

Cut your bacon into half so you end up with 12 slices.

Wrap a slice of bacon per wedge – my large butternut yielded 12 good wedges; perfect for the amount of bacon I had on hand. When wrapping, make sure both ends wind up on the same side and put that side down on the prepared baking sheet.

Sprinkle with chili powder, salt and pepper.

Bake for 30 minutes (or until the squash is soft and the bacon is done), kick your broiler up to high, and broil 5 minutes on each side to finish crisping the bacon and brown the edges of the squash.

Serves 3

 

Charred Corn & Leek Salad with Carrot Top Pesto

Mmmmmm….. summer CSA corn. It’s not paleo, but damn is it ever good. And we’ve been swimming in it at our house – the best ears we’ve had in years, too. North Carolina Silver Queen, eat your heart out.

This salad is nutty and sweet from the toasting the corn gets and savory from the leeks – with a nice hit of smokiness from bacon and a side of carrot top pesto (waste not, want not) to round out the herbaceous notes.

Gluten-free

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Charred Corn & Leek Salad with Carrot Top Pesto

2 ears corn
3 leeks
Coconut oil
2 Tbsp. carrot top pesto (see recipe below)
1 tsp. apple cider vinegar
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. ground chipotle powder
2 slices thick bacon

First, char your veggies. Set your broiler to High, cover a cookie sheet with tinfoil and prep your veg. Shuck the corn and halve the leeks lengthwise (don’t forget to rinse). Brush with coconut oil and broil until charred on all sides – the leeks will be done first.

While the veggies are caramelizing, chop the bacon and fry. Drain and move to a large bowl. Add the vinegar, cumin, and chipotle. When the leeks and corn are browned to your liking, remove from the broiler and let cool a bit. Chop the leeks and add to the bowl. Remove the corn kernels (I shave off one side, flip onto the flat side and chop down the side of the ear as close to the cob as possible) and add to the bowl. Toss. Add the pesto, toss and taste for seasoning.

Serves 2 as a side dish if you use smallish corn and leeks.

 

Carrot Top Pesto

1 small bunch carrot tops (about 1/2 c.)
Olive oil
3 Tablespoons parmesan (optional)
1.5 tsp. citrus juice (I used lime)
1 tsp. red pepper flakes
Salt & pepper

Add the carrot tops, parmesan, red pepper flakes and a generous pinch salt and pepper to the bowl of a food processor. Process until broken down. Add olive oil in a stream while the machine is running until you get the consistency you want. Add the lime juice and give another couple whizzes. Taste for seasoning and add more if necessary.

Makes enough to double the salad recipe. 

Mom’s London Broil with Pureed Bacony Spinach

London broil had to be one of my very favorite dishes growing up. My mother made it often, since it was an inexpensive way to feel like you’re having steak, and I remember thinking it was the height of attainable fancy (especially when served with asparagus slathered in faker hollandaise or buttered button mushrooms). To this day, London broil – and specifically this cooking method – is my go-to when I’m tired of dithering with other cuts of meat and just want something that a: isn’t going to break the bank, b: can stretch through multiple meals, and c: feels and tastes like steak – without having to deal with trimming fat and guesstimating cooking times. My DH and I generally end up eating a generous portion for dinner, and then I use the leftovers in salads (if they make it that far) for a few days after in lunches.

In celebration of her birthday this year, I’m sharing this childhood favorite with you guys – I think Mom would definitely approve of the side.

Happy birthday, ma. I sure do miss you.

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Mom’s London Broil with Pureed Bacony Spinach

16 ounce bag frozen spinach
1/4 c. coconut milk
4 slices thick cut bacon (double smoked is awesome here)
1 onion
8 cloves garlic
2 lb. London broil
Kosher salt & cracked black pepper

Set your broiler on high and place the top rack as close to the heating element as you can get it. Wrap a cookie sheet in tinfoil. Place your steak on the prepared cookie sheet to come to room temperature while you make the side.

Stack your bacon slices and slice into thin strips width-wise (mini lardons). Slice the onion thinly. Add to a large pan over medium heat and sautee until the bacon and onion are browned, stirring often to avoid burning. While that is working, slice your garlic cloves. When you have half the garlic done, add to the pan with the onions & bacon – the rest is going in the London broil.

When your bacon & onions are nice and browned. add the spinach. If you defrost first, your life will be easier – I never remember to, so I ended up breaking it up with a spoon as I could and stirring frequently to avoid sticking and burning. If you go this route and need a little oil, that’s ok.

When the spinach is melted, add the coconut milk and stir to combine. Add a big pinch salt and a few cracks black pepper and transfer the whole mixture to a blender. Blend until smooth, adding splashes of water if the mixture gets too dry to move. Taste & add salt and pepper if needed.

On to the meat. Score your London broil in a diamond pattern on both sides – slipping garlic slices into the scores as you go. Liberally salt and pepper both sides.

Broil 4 minutes per side* and set on a cutting board with drip channel to rest for 5 minutes before serving.

To serve, slice against the grain on a bias. The meat serves 4 for dinner or 2 for dinner + 2 lunches; the side can comfortably serve 3-4 for dinner if you’re not expecting potatoes. I might supplement with come cauliflower mash if everyone is starving.

* I’ve always eaten mine rare — oh, who am I kidding – I love it blue — if your predilections are a little less macabre, adjust the cooking time to your liking – about a minute or so extra per doneness measure. 5 minutes should get you medium-rare. As always, your mileage may vary and this is just an estimated cooking time. Listen to your broiler. 

Pork Chops with Bacon-studded Sweet Potato Puree and Apple Bourbon Gastrique (paleo)

This dish screams fall all over. Orange! Apple! Bourbon! Pork! Bacon! And yum, don’t forget yum. Although this dish might look long and complicated, once you get going it is quick to prepare – and only dirties up a single pan + a small pot. Win-win.

Blergh. Picture taking fail - no other pictures turned out.
Blergh. Picture taking fail – no other pictures turned out.

For the apple bourbon gastrique

1/4 c. apple juice or apple cider
1/4 c. apple cider vinegar (I used Dr. Bronner’s)
1/4 c. bourbon or whiskey (I used Honey Jack – yes, I’m aware bourbon – especially a bastardized bourbon – isn’t strict paleo. Suck it, paleo police. It’s delicious.)

Add to a small pot over high heat. Boil until reduced by a third.

For the bacon-studded sweet potato mash & apples

2 small sweet potatoes
4 c. vegetable stock
3 sprigs fresh thyme + 2 tsp. thyme leaves, chopped
1 Tbsp. chili powder
2 tsp. salt
4 slices thick cut bacon
1 granny smith apple

Peel and dice the potatoes (about 1/4 inch cubes – I ended up with about 2 cups). Add to a medium pot and cover with the stock. Add the thyme and set over high heat. Boil 5 minutes, or until tender. When the potatoes are fork tender, drain – reserving about half a cup of cooking liquid – and add to a food processor. Mash with 2 tsp. chopped thyme, the chili powder and salt until smooth, adding splashes of reserved cooking liquid as you go.

While your potatoes are boiling, fry the bacon until crispy and slice the apple thinly. When the bacon is browned, remove from the pan and set aside to drain. Crumble and mix in with the mashed potatoes.

To the hot pan, add the apple and fry in bacon fat until browned. Remove and set aside.

For the pork

2 boneless butterflied pork chops
Salt
Pepper
1 Tbsp. chopped thyme
1 Tbsp. coconut oil

Heat the coconut oil in the vacated pan over medium-high heat. Pat the chops dry with paper towels and liberally sprinkle with salt and pepper and thyme on both sides. When the pan is hot, add the chops and cook 3-4 minutes per side, or until done to your liking.

Let the meat rest 5 minutes before serving.

Serves 2

Summer On A Plate – Bacon, Tomato & Peach Salad (paleo, Whole30*)

I read something enchanting a few weeks ago: grilled bacon. I saw it somewhere, in some recipe header, and the concept lodged in my brain; unwilling to let go.

Grilled bacon, brain said, in the middle of the night. GrilledBacon, it said, in the afternoon. GRILLED BACON, it screamed, while trying to think of what to have for dinner. So I tried grilling bacon. And … ???? It was just like pan-fried bacon, only more burnt. Still fantabulous, mind you, since I happen to *like* bacon that’s been on fire – but not the best use of my bacony buck. Maybe I should have read the recipe afterall.

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Summer On A Plate – Bacon, Tomato & Peach Salad (paleo, Whole30*)

2 strips bacon (check your source for Whole30!)
1/2 pint cherry tomatoes
1 Saturn peach (or any variety, I just so happen to be addicted to the Saturn variety from Trader Joe’s)
3 leaves basil
Citrus salt
Balsamic vinegar (the best quality, thickest you can find)

Crisp your bacon however you see fit, drain on paper towels and chop. Chiffonade the basil, slice the cherry tomatoes in half, and the peaches in thin slices. Combine all and drizzle with balsamic. Finish off with some nice citrus salt.

Serves 1 as a side for dinner or lunch. Easily scaleable to feed more.

*This recipe can be made Whole30 compliant. Bacon isn’t completely verboten, just mostly. According to the Whole30 edict, bacon that is made with no added sugar is clear, which you’re most likely not going to find in the regular grocery store. US Wellness Meats sells Whole30 approved bacon, and your local natural food store, butcher or farmers would be a good place to look as well.

Spicy Broccoli Slaw with Snap Peas & Bacon

This dish received the highest of praises from the DH. He not only ate every bite, he also said he really liked it. Sweet. Into the repertoire you go. While not strictly paleo as-written, you can easily swap something more paleo-friendly for the snap peas — tiny broccoli florets (broccoli overload!), kale, even celery would go great here. As would mango. Mmmmm … spicy mango.

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Spicy Broccoli Slaw with Snap Peas and Bacon

4 ounces thick-sliced bacon, diced
2 tsp. grainy mustard (I use Maille)
1 tsp. chili garlic sauce (I use the kind with the chicken and flecks of garlic)
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar (I use Bragg)
1 tsp. honey
3 Tbsp. almond oil (or any neutral oil – grapeseed would be great)
6 ounces broccoli slaw
5 ounces sugar snap peas
Flaky salt and pepper to taste

Brown your bacon, drain and set aside. Make a vinaigrette out of the wet ingredients and whisk to form an emulsion. Toss everything together and serve.

Serves 2 for dinner. Great with a grilled meat (or in our case, some really substandard bratwurst).

Braised Celery & Sausage Ragu (Paleo)

Craving a rich, decadent ragu, but cutting out unnecessary carbs? This is the recipe for you. This dish is luxurious and rich, comes together in about an hour, and feels like it took days to cook. It’s meaty, hearty, and paleo friendly. It even features one of my more favorite braised vegetables, that unsung hero of the kitchen, celery. Never had cooked celery? You’re missing out. Cooked celery goes all slumpy and soft, while keeping a slight fresh taste that just speaks of crisp spring days. Yum.

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Braised Celery & Sausage Ragu (Paleo)
Adapted from Marcella Hazan’s Braised Celery with Onion, Pancetta and Tomatoes on Food 52

1 lb. celery
2 Tbsp. coconut oil
1 onion
2 oz. pancetta
15 ounce can plum tomatoes
1 lb. hot Italian sausage (4 links)
1 egg per person
2 tsp. or so butter
crushed red pepper
salt & pepper

Cut your celery on a diagonal into 3 inch pieces. Slice the onion very thin. cut the pancetta into strips or dice into cubes.

In a large pan, heat the oil on medium. Add the onion and sautee until light gold. Add the pancetta and cook until the fat becomes translucent. Add 2 links sausage, slipped out of their casings, and sautee (breaking up the sausage into bits as you go) until browned.

Once everything is nice and browned, add the tomatoes and their juice, crushing as you add to the pan. Nestle the remaining 2 sausages in the pan. Add the celery, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper and toss to coat well. Pop the lid on and knock the heat down to a steady simmer.

Simmer 15 minutes and check – I ended up cooking my dish for an hour in total to get the doneness I wanted; you may want to go less time if you want crisper celery. At an hour, the celery was nice and soft and the flavors were really well melded. Check every 15-20 minutes or so to make sure things aren’t getting too dry and to give a nice stir. If your mix does get dry, add some water or white wan to the pan. If the mix is too watery; take the lid off, raise the heat, and boil away the excess liquid.

While the ragu is simmering, fry your eggs in butter until the desired doneness – I went for runny yolks and the dish was luscious.

Serves 2 for dinner + 1 for lunch.